When Instagram Influencers Should Retire

Solving future problems, like global warming but not.

episode transcript


there's a huge problem that's going to show up in a couple years on the internet and we have to deal with it um instagram influencers are getting older and we need to prevent a 70-year-old instagram influers influencers from you know showing up on our feeds you know with wrinkles and stretch marks it's disgusting let's just prevent it uh no one wants to see that right um so what we need to do is we need to set up a standard of a retirement of their choosing and i have a solution for this pregnancy as soon as an instagram influencer gets pregnant um that's their retirement so when they announce that they're pregnant that's when people comment and they say um happy retirement and all those things congratulating them on their retirement and why i want to choose this is because first of all people choose to get pregnant you don't have to get pregnant right so it's not forcing them into retirement and um when you act like after the pregnancy now you have a kid and now you're an instagram influencer showing your clam on instagram like no you're a mom now get it together right um no one wants to see that your kids can see that and their friends can see that too when they they're gonna make fun of your kid at school and then other pta moms they're gonna be whispering about you they're gonna be like hey did you see megan and that picture on instagram of her clam no you don't need that right um you're the one that chose to have a kid you know the rules you didn't have to right um you need to start um the transition from instagram influencer to mommy blogger and that way um you can still use the internet and make money on the internet um but the only thing is instead of taking pictures without your clothes maybe make posts about baby clothes and kids clothes and all that other thing all that other stuff um you're gonna lose 99 of your audience but there's gonna be that one percent that'll stay right or what you can do is get a real job right you know and then for men because we're inclusive here um they're going to retire when their skin starts to wrinkle people should start commenting you know put a shirt on right and that way they know people don't want to see them without their shirt